Dr Yamane Memoir – Pt 1

Dr Yamane Memoir

P 5

プロローグ
Prologue

芹沢のことを書こうと思う。

I intend to write about Serizawa.

あれからもう三ヵ月がたった。私を取りまいていじゅばくた悲しみの呪縛も、ようやく薄れつつあるようだ。少しはものごとを論理だてて思考する力が甦ってきたように思う。

Three months have already passed since then. The crushing spell of grief that had held me captive finally seems to be fading. I feel as though my ability to think about things logically has begun to revive, at least to some extent.

だが依然、やむことない微熱が私を苦しみつづけていることにかわりはなかった。だから、脳の活動としては、けっして満足なものとは言いがたいがはぎま――――。ふと気がつくと、ゆめうつつの狭間を危なっかしく綱渡りしている自分がいたりする。

Yet, the fact remained unchanged: a persistent, unceasing low-grade fever continued to torment me. Consequently—and though it could hardly be described as optimal brain function—I would suddenly find myself teetering precariously, walking a tightrope in the liminal space between waking and dreaming.

むちそれでも、己に鞭うつようにこうしてペンを執る気になったのは、やはり残された時間のはかなさを意識せざるをえないからだ。わたしはあの魔獣に不用意に近づきすぎた。科学者ともあろう者が放射能の恐ろしさを忘れさっていたのだ。いや、正確には忘れていたわけではない。本心を打ち明けるなら、身の危険をかえりみること以上にあの魔獣に私は魅了されたのだ。そう、魅了されたのだ、あの魔獣ゴジラに･･････。

And yet—even if it feels like I am lashing myself with a whip—the reason I have resolved to take up my pen in this manner is simply that I can no longer escape the awareness of how fleeting the time remaining to me truly is. I approached that monstrous beast far too carelessly. I—a scientist, no less—had allowed myself to forget the true horror of radiation. Or rather… to be precise, it was not that I had “forgotten” it. To speak my honest truth: I was not merely heedless of the danger to my life; I was, in fact, utterly captivated by that beast. Yes—captivated. Captivated by that monster… Godzilla.

ゴジラとは魔獣が最初に上陸した大戸島に伝わる禍つ神の名前である。

Godzilla is the name of a malevolent deity passed down on Odo Island—the place where the monstrous beast first came ashore.

一旦、東京に上陸するや、我々にゴジラを阻止する術はなかった。自衛隊の戦車の砲弾も、ゴジラの鉄のような固い皮膚にはまったく無力だった。あとはもうゴジラの為すがままである。建物は破壊の限りを尽くされ、国家の象徴である国会議事堂までもが犠牲となった。逃げ惑う人々は踏みつぶされ、さらにあの恐ろしき放射能火炎が街中を火の海と化した。

Once Godzilla made landfall in Tokyo, we were utterly powerless to stop him. Even the shells fired from the Self-Defense Forces’ tanks proved completely futile against his iron-hard hide. From that moment on, we were entirely at Godzilla’s mercy. Buildings were subjected to unbridled destruction; even the National Diet Building—a symbol of the nation itself—fell victim to his rampage. Fleeing in panic, people were trampled underfoot, while his terrifying radioactive flames engulfed the city, turning it into a sea of ​​fire.

P 6

首都はまるで一〇年前の戦時下に逆もどりしたような光景だった。犠牲者は二〇〇〇人を超えているという。倒壊したビルの下敷きとなって死んだ者たち。ゴジラの巨大な足に踏みつけられ圧死した者たち。火炎に家ごと焼き殺された者たち。そして、私だけではなく、惨劇のあと東京にはたくさんの被曝患者が残された。

The capital presented a scene as if it had reverted to the wartime conditions of a decade ago. The death toll was said to exceed two thousand. There were those who perished, crushed beneath the rubble of collapsed buildings; those who were trampled to death beneath Godzilla’s colossal feet; and those who were burned alive, consumed along with their homes by the flames. And in the aftermath of this tragedy—I was not alone in this—Tokyo was left with a multitude of radiation victims.

微熱はあるものの私などまだ比較的症状の軽い方で、二週間に一度通院し、投薬治療をうけている程度だった。

Although I did have a low-grade fever, my symptoms were still relatively mild compared to others—to the extent that my treatment consisted merely of visiting the hospital once every two weeks to receive medication.

いったん死というものを意識した時、とにかく日本を襲ったあの三ヵ月前の悪夢を、できうるかぎり克明に記録しておかなければ、という強い衝動が私の中にこみあげたのだった。さて、いざペンを執ってみると、あの大事件を一体どこから記録すればいいのか、しばらく私は途方にくれた。

Once I had truly confronted the reality of death, a powerful impulse surged within me: I felt I had to record—as vividly and meticulously as humanly possible—that nightmare which had struck Japan just three months earlier. Yet, when I finally took pen in hand, I found myself at a loss for a time, wondering where on earth I should even begin to chronicle such a monumental event.

そして、思い至ったのだ。なにをおいてもまず最初に書かなければならないのは、芹沢大助のことだろうと。

And then, it struck me: that—above all else—the very first thing I had to write about was Daisuke Serizawa.

彼の死はあまりにも衝撃的だった。身近にいた人物だけに、その壮絶な最期は私に埋めようのない大きな空洞を生じさせた。わたしを呪縛していた悲しみの多くは芹沢をうしなった悲しみである。

His death was utterly shocking. Precisely because he was someone so close to me, his tragic end left a vast, unbridgeable void within me. Much of the grief that held me in its thrall was the sorrow of having lost Serizawa.

私は、彼の科学者としての才能を高く評価していた。東京帝大の学生時代は、私の教え子であった時もあるが、その頭脳の明晰さは他の追随を許すものではなかった。私のような三流学者などが到底及ぶべきもない天才的な逸材だった。彼なら将来かならずや日本の、いや世界の偉大な科学者になるであろうという予感がほとんど確信にも似て私にはあったのだ。

I held his talents as a scientist in the highest esteem. Although he was, for a time, my student during his days at Tokyo Imperial University, the clarity of his intellect was simply unrivaled. He was a genius of such caliber—a truly exceptional talent—that a third-rate scholar like myself could never hope to measure up to him. I harbored a premonition—one that bordered on absolute certainty—that he was destined to become a great scientist: not merely for Japan, but for the entire world.

そんな芹沢が、こころざしなかばの三一歳という若さで命を落とすことになろうとは･･････。

To think that Serizawa—of all people—would meet his end at the young age of thirty-one, his ambitions left unfulfilled…

だが、彼の名は歴史に深々と刻まれることとなったのである。ゴジラを倒した天才科学者として―――。

Yet, his name came to be etched deeply into the annals of history—as the genius scientist who defeated Godzilla.

Source: ゴジラ2000 (ミレニアム) novel